Saturday, March 28, 2009

Sonic the Hedgehog reporting digestive problems

According to the Medical Science Monitor, Sonic will not be attending any more video game shootings for the rest of the year. Toontown Medical Center has reported having really bad gas and bleeding in the colon. Although they wouldn't tell us why, Fantasy World Report suspects it may have to do with his compulsive consumption of chili dogs.
"All he ever eats is that stuff. I knew problems would come around sooner or later," said Knuckles, his second-best friend and sidekick. "Tails has a more balanced diet. He's an omnivore as well. He usually eats more berries and fruits, drinks more milk and has less-processed meat because he's a fox. He also puts more cheese on his chili dogs, too. You really have to focus on getting that well-balanced diet. That's how I keep strong."
Sonic was not able to comment, but many of his friends wish him well.
"We know it's not serious or anything," said Tails, Sonic's best friend, "He should be back by the beginning of next year. I warned him about this."
The Medical Science Monitor concludes that Sonic will not suffer any long-term damage from this, but he will need time to recover. His treatment may involve surgery, after that he will need therapy.
"Oh, man," said Sonic, "Who knew something so good could cause so much pain?"

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